Silly Jokes and Riddles
This type of humor is usually a big hit with 6-to-8 years olds, but some of us never outgrow our need for a laugh, even at such silly stuff.
Try your hand at writing some new ones!
How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
-Four. One to install the bulb and three to test it in staff mode for three months before the patrons get to use the light.
-Three. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how unprofessional changing light bulbs really is.
-None; one chooses the bubl; one contacts a vendor and orders the bulb; one receives it; one places the bulb on the bulb shelf; one charges the bulb out; but the users finally must change the bulb themselves.
-Well, what type of lightbulb are you interested in?
-Eight. One to the actual task and the rest to form a committee to determine wether it really needs to be changed.
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Why did the librarians cross the road?
-To get to the Norli bookstore! (The slow city of Levanger).
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Here's one to try:
How can you find a librarian in the grass?
………Follow the book shelf, folks!…………
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Bumperstickers:
LIBRARIANS ARE NOVEL LOVERS
LIBRARIENS DO IT BETWEEN THE COVERS
LIBRARIANS DO IT TO BOOST THEIR CIRCULATION
LIBRARIANS OVERDUE IT
LIBRARIANS DO IT SYSTAMATICALLY AND ALFABETIC - ALWAYS!
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Limericks:
The old-fashioned ways are all wet--
I will not stay with them, you bet.
Why bother to look
It all up in a book?
I can do twice as much on the Net!
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Jokes:
After reviewing an application for a library card, the librarian replied; "What do you think, we're crazy? You've listed your occupation as BOOKKEEPER!!"
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A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patient waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks;
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian compiles, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks;
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears.
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in rather irritated fashion, it seems);
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library. She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows. On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying;
"Read it, read it, read it..."
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There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catolic or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace.
"Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted complete access to all parts of heaven."
"You are also granted an open door policy and may at your own discretion meet with any heavenly leader, including the Father, without prior appointment. Is there anything which your holiness desires?"
"Well yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations between God and the prophets of old? I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming of memories over time."
Saint Peter immediately ushered the Pope the the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of man's relationship with God.
Two years later a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library. Immediately several of the saints and angles came running to the Pope's side to learn the cause of his dismay.
There they found the Pope pointing to a single word on the parchment, repeating over and over,
"There's an 'R', there's an 'R'!"
"Look, the word is 'celibrate,' not 'celibate'!"
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Oh, kill that cat!
http://www.nationen.no/50/74/00/2.html